Tuesday, 16 January 2018

How many likes until You love yourself

Recently, I was asked on my Instagram page, "How many likes will it take until you love yourself?"

"Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder?"

Oh honey... It's taken me 30 years to love myself. I loved myself long before Instagram was a thing. I was at peace with myself before the "Like" button was just a twinkle in Mark Zuckerber's eye. See, I had to work long and hard to get to where I am now. From the time I was 11, I've struggled with my eating and more importantly, my body image. They were tied into one another of course, but still, the sooner I tackled one, the sooner I could rid myself of the other.

I was in therapy from 14-29, specifically to learn how to love myself. So, b*tch please. Don't ask me how many LIKES it will take until I love myself. It took 10 years of battling an eating disorder, 15 years of therapy, and a countless series of ego-driven, short-term, trivial relationships that validated my physical appearance, in order to learn to be OK with me.

Looking for likes
Why/when did we become obsessed with likes on social media? And why do people automatically assume that because someone has 10, 20, or 100k followers, that they NEED the attention from people online? What if I just like you guys? What if I'm just one of those people who likes hearing themselves talk, or, G-d forbid, inspiring people through the written word and accompanying pictures. People definitely do differ in the extent to which they need external approval. Not everyone is aiming for 1,000 likes per photo. 

The most ironic thing about being accused of not loving myself, or being desperate for likes, is that I'm told steadily that people like me because I'm real, raw, vulnerable, and honest. Funny enough, in a study done by sociologists in New Jersey, it was found that "The honesty factor, which included stating that amount of likes are unimportant, and presenting oneself honestly in social media reporting was positively related to extraversion.  Therefore people who are unconcerned with likes and present themselves honestly seem to be more sociable and outgoing as measured on the personality scale." Essentially, people who don't care about likes GET MORE LIKES! 

Captain of Team IDGAF - 11.5k likes
So friends, I say this with the utmost respect, "I'm repping Team IDGAF" when it comes to #InstaFame. I don't understand it, and truthfully, it's all part of an insane algorithm no one understands anyway *eye roll emoji*

(If you want personalized training and diet, that's definitely my jam! Send me a DM from IG and we'll work something out)

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