'And what do YOU do?'

My name is Jaime, and I'm Canadian. I’m in the process of getting my Greencard. As a function of the immigration process, I haven’t been allowed to work since March. I haven’t been allowed to go ‘home’ to Toronto since then either. I'm kind of an in-between legal alien. At 31 years old, I'm finding it exceptionally difficult not to have a vocation; not to have something to be proud of, professionally speaking. Not to have a 9-to-5 to call my own when someone asks, “And what do you do?” It’s hard to say, “Well, I used to be the Editor-in-Chief of Canada’s biggest bodybuilding magazine… but now I'm a happy housewife.”

Recently, however, I had a paradigm shift. Or rather, my wife shifted my paradigm. Since we moved to Florida, I’ve taken on the responsibility of coaching and programming at Crossfit ABF – our home Crossfit box in Clearwater; 5 days a week I coach, and I plan out the week’s worth of workouts for all the members. On top of that, the gym recently moved locations, which meant building a new gym from scratch … In only 3 weeks. I helped the owner tirelessly for days as we got the place ready. 

In my country, I have a Bachelor degree with Honors
in Kinesiology. But "This is America."

I was also doing all the domestic things around the house: Cooking, laundry, cleaning, fixing, buying. Whatever needed to be done in our little apartment I did. I made our food for the week, packed her lunches the night before, and made sure there was dinner on the table when she got home from work. And lastly, I was our social events coordinator; any plans that had to be made, any time we wanted to go out, or see what our friends were doing, I set up the date night. I arranged our calendar, and planned weekend trips, staycations, day trips, and nights out. 

When I told Katie that I felt like I lost my purpose when I lost my job, she said, "Are you forgetting that you took on the job of coaching for free? And that you're building an entire gym from scratch? And the fact that we have more friends now than ever?! Baby girl, I don't know how you do all of it in a day." And boom! Just like that, I realized my value wasn't in what I did for work, or even what I did during the day, but rather, it was in the effort I put into my days. It was in the love that I poured into my friends and the members of the gym. I am, in fact, 'busier' than when I worked as a journalist, but I'm not getting paid. And that's okay!

Moral of the story, although it took me about 5 months to come to terms with my 'forced unemployment', I honestly couldn't be happier. It’s reminded me, and really reinforced the fact, that my worth isn’t in what I do, it’s in who I am.

Why You're Not Losing Weight

I have so many clients coming to me asking for a program that will "fit" with their lifestyle. I also have people telling me that they're not going to renew with me because my plan didn't fit their lifestyle. It was either too complicated, too mathematical, or not realistic for them.

Let me explain something:

Fat loss is not a lifestyle. Being in a calorie deficit is NOT a way of life. It's a short term solution to a problem; you're unhappy with your weight, or your fat:muscle ratio, or how you look, or how your pants fit, and you want to do something about it.

Only people who have a lot of weight to lose can get away with doing some cardio, some weight training, and 'eating clean' (instead of tracking macros). People who don't have a lot of fat to lose, or who want to take their fitness to the next level, cannot just 'eat clean.' Fat loss is a numbers game; you NEED to burn more calories than you consume. With that said, how will you know how much you're burning (or eating for that matter), if you don't count?

You won't see results if you don't put the work in hard and fast at the beginning. That slow, 'lifestyle' plan is great once you've actually accomplished the fat loss part, and you just want to maintain what you've done. In order to accomplish that though, you NEED to do the annoying, tedious short term work - Like counting your calories, eating out of tupperware, and making sure you don't skip your cardio sessions.

So when you tell your trainer that you want to lose fat, and they give you a program, don't look at it and say, "There's no way I can maintain this ...", I hope they say, "That's the point." 

Maintenance = Lifestyle. Fat loss = Short term. 

I am not a bird. I just have a lot of feelings.

In sacred ancient mythology, the colorful phoenix birds ends their life cycle by bursting into flames, and miraculously, from their own ashes, a fiery bird is reborn. It’s immortal – And a symbol of rebirth, immortality, and renewal.

I’m a bodybuilder/Crossfitter/Girlfriend/Daughter/best friend. Not a bird. I’m pretty sure I just have one life cycle, and I’m definitely sure I haven’t come to the end of it. But I empathize with the bird because so many times in my own life, within my various roles, I feel like I've crashed and burned. And yet, here I am. In fact, I’m just beginning my next phase. 

I’ve plagiarized before, and I’ll do it again, because my own words aren’t as eloquent or concise as those of strength and conditioning coach, and writer extraordinaire, Chris Shugart. In his own adaptation of “The Phoenix Theory”, Shugart states that “Those who make jaw-dropping physical changes usually follow the same basic path of the phoenix (sic):

The Phoenix Theory of body-transformation involves four key stages:
1) A traumatic event leading to a sudden realization and awakening.
2) Anger and a firm decision to change
3) The physical transformation itself
4) Continued progress fuelled by fear of regression."

This is my mad face.

Now can you start to see where I’m going with my blog? Wait for it though, don't kill the surprise... 

I know for a fact that we’ve all hit steps 1 or 2 in our lives, at least when it comes to dieting. New year’s Eve comes, we promise ourselves we’ll lose 20lbs this year, and start out determined enough to do it… Until we fizzle out around either step 2 or 3; which means we don't make it to Step 4. Either we don’t get angry enough, and therefore the decision isn’t firm enough (see my IG post about commitment here), OR, we realize the actual physical transformation is a lot more difficult and time-consuming than it was in our heads, so we give up, and tell ourselves we’re “happy enough." What does that even mean!? What is "happy enough"? Is that a euphemism for complacent? *shudders*

I’ve been a New Years Resolutioner. I’ve also been a competitive amateur bodybuilder. I’ve also been anorexic. Let me reassure you that each and every label took on its own form of Phoenix Theory. Step 1: At 11 years of age, I underwent a traumatic event, and realized it was time to start my first diet. Step 2: At 16, I made a firm decision to get my 5’7” frame below 100lbs (ended up hospitalized). At 17, I had I vow to build enough muscle to actually be competitive on stage at my first show. Step 3: At 21, I had to make a physical transformation that took me from the depths of hell (near death at 95lbs), up to a healthy weight and lifestyle, and then diet down to compete in my 9th bodybuilding show. But now, we've safely arrived as another incarnation of the Phoenix at Step 4: 30 years old, recovered for 9 years, and ready to continue that progress... 

Although every day has it's own challenges (whether in life, love, or the gym), I realize there's no battle too big. And even if something overwhelming comes over me, there's nothing wrong with a little fire. It could be what you need to *spark* change (see what I did there?)

For more motivation, follow me on IG, and hit me up in the DMs. Happy to help with inspiration, training, diet, workouts; whatever you need.

How many likes until You love yourself

Recently, I was asked on my Instagram page, "How many likes will it take until you love yourself?"

"Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder?"

Oh honey... It's taken me 30 years to love myself. I loved myself long before Instagram was a thing. I was at peace with myself before the "Like" button was just a twinkle in Mark Zuckerber's eye. See, I had to work long and hard to get to where I am now. From the time I was 11, I've struggled with my eating and more importantly, my body image. They were tied into one another of course, but still, the sooner I tackled one, the sooner I could rid myself of the other.

I was in therapy from 14-29, specifically to learn how to love myself. So, b*tch please. Don't ask me how many LIKES it will take until I love myself. It took 10 years of battling an eating disorder, 15 years of therapy, and a countless series of ego-driven, short-term, trivial relationships that validated my physical appearance, in order to learn to be OK with me.

Looking for likes

Why/when did we become obsessed with likes on social media? And why do people automatically assume that because someone has 10, 20, or 100k followers, that they NEED the attention from people online? What if I just like you guys? What if I'm just one of those people who likes hearing themselves talk, or, G-d forbid, inspiring people through the written word and accompanying pictures. People definitely do differ in the extent to which they need external approval. Not everyone is aiming for 1,000 likes per photo. 


The most ironic thing about being accused of not loving myself, or being desperate for likes, is that I'm told steadily that people like me because I'm real, raw, vulnerable, and honest. Funny enough, in a study done by sociologists in New Jersey, it was found that "The honesty factor, which included stating that amount of likes are unimportant, and presenting oneself honestly in social media reporting was positively related to extraversion.  Therefore people who are unconcerned with likes and present themselves honestly seem to be more sociable and outgoing as measured on the personality scale." Essentially, people who don't care about likes GET MORE LIKES! 

Captain of Team IDGAF - 11.5k likes

So friends, I say this with the utmost respect, "I'm repping Team IDGAF" when it comes to #InstaFame. I don't understand it, and truthfully, it's all part of an insane algorithm no one understands anyway *eye roll emoji*

(If you want personalized training and diet, that's definitely my jam! Send me a DM from IG and we'll work something out)