Monday, 2 December 2013

Nothing is inherently good or bad. It's about how you perceive it.


You've heard this before, but maybe haven't thought about how it applies to you, or more appropriately, WHEN it could apply to you.

My dad was the youngest of 6 siblings. The other 5 were girls. In June 2012, I went to Vancouver for a cousin's wedding, and my dad's sister was there, but not doing well at all (she would pass away only a few months later). She was never one to hold back what she was thinking; if she had an opinion, or a thought in her head, you were going to hear about it. No filter from brain to mouth. At the out-of-towner's dinner before the wedding, she called me over to chat, and I got this speech: "You're my favorite niece because your father was my favorite sibling. And I'll be honest: You've had a shitty life. I'd be depressed if I was you. Just... Sad. I don't know how you're still smiling. Your dad died without you getting to know, and you were so young, your mom was always so busy with work, you had that issue with your eating, and your siblings come in and out of your life. I don't know how you still smile."

End speech. Okay Auntie Elsa, but tell me how you really feel. Please. Pretty bad, right? Here's the best part, and the point of this blog: I didn't know how awful my life was until she pointed it out to me. It didn't occur to me that I could choose to NOT smile, until she mentioned it. I just thought, "This is my life. Meh. Could be worse. I'm cool with it." (Insert Smile Here)

I am not the point of the story. I'm totally not a hero or extra ordinary (my close friends can vouch for this). I'm not infallible, and I do sometimes frown (my fiancee has seen this rare occurrence). I didn't bring up the anecdote to brag... At all. My life could've happened to anyone (And has! And worse!); MINDSET is the point. Things like death, separation, bullying, etc.aren't inherently good or bad, they're only bad when you give them the connotation of being bad. When you think of death as death and mortality instead of celebrating the life that was, THEN death becomes shitty.

We all have moments where we we think life hates us and that you seem to always be drawing the short straws, but reread this blog, have coffee with your best friends, read a good book, and say "It ain't so bad."
"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out." ~Anton Chekhov

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